"Your beliefs stick – even when they don’t serve you well." - Amy Morin. Our self-image has been shaped over the years by a variety sources — what our parents, teachers and bosses said to and/or about us; performance feedback via test scores and grades in school or appraisal ratings on the job, and how we’ve been treated by peers. As a result of these experiences, we’ve developed some faulty beliefs about ourselves and the world around us which might not be serving us on the path to being the best that we can be.
Let me get personal. I somehow developed the notion that I had to consistently perform and produce at a high level in order to be liked, loved and accepted. As a straight-A student, I recall being placed on punishment in the 7th grade when I got a ‘B’ on my report card. Although my young mind saw this as reinforcement of my belief that anything less than excellent wasn’t valued, I think my performance-driven view of the world began long before that incident. How has this belief negatively impacted me? By tying my self-worth and sense of value to being ‘productive’, I’ve robbed myself of the space to just relax, reflect & rejuvenate. I’ve sacrificed quality time being fully present with loved ones because I felt compelled to multitask so I could get that one more thing done. I’ve avoided trying new things because I feared not being able to do ‘it’ exceptionally well. Thank God that I finally came to realize the value of simply being instead of always doing; the freedom of experiencing instead of performing.
I’ve conquered some other limiting beliefs; the key to squashing them is to first recognize them. These tricky beliefs operate in our subconscious and are therefore hidden from our awareness. They operate in the background and trigger automatic reactions based on our distorted view through these faulty filters. For example, a friend of mine automatically dismissed the notion of applying for a promotion opportunity because of the limiting belief “I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment – I know I won’t get it”. When doing an initial discovery session with a newly promoted “high-potential” coaching client and inquiring about his career aspirations, he exclaimed “I never thought I would get this far! I haven't even thought about what's next.” I can recount numerous examples of hearing these limiting beliefs expressed and taken as the gospel truth. It breaks my heart and makes me a little angry to see these talented, capable and intelligent people hindered by this stinking thinking lurking in the background.
Well instead of just being mad about it, I decided to do something about it. I researched methods for conquering limiting beliefs and incorporated the most common themes into my 6-week Fortify Your Foundation virtual group coaching program. I go into much more detail during the workshop, but here’s the short version:
4 Steps to Eliminating Limiting Beliefs:
Identify Them; Write them down; recall their impact
Examine Them; Find the source
Challenge Them; Expose the flaws
Reframe Them; Apply alternate meaning; shift perspective
I hope you get mad enough to do something about your limiting beliefs. Take the limits off!