Today is a day that some celebrate as the Thanksgiving Day holiday and others recognize as a National Day of Mourning. I understand how the complicated history of America creates this juxtaposition.
I'm feeling this tension on a much smaller scale and on a personal level. In the midst of preparing to celebrate this Thanksgiving holiday with my immediate family, I was feeling off-kilter and actually a bit sad. I thought I was just tired and needed to rest, but a decent night's sleep didn't shake my ambivalence. So, instead of hitting the kitchen early this morning to finish cooking our Thanksgiving meal, I gave myself permission to explore my feelings, journal and pray in the quiet of the morning while everyone was still asleep.
Here's what surfaced from the recesses of my heart.
While I'm full of gratitude for the abundant love that is in our home, my heart hurts for the people I know who have lost parents, spouses, children, siblings, partners and friends. They will be spending the holidays without their loved ones - some for the very first time this year. Some will be celebrating past memories that they created with their loved ones while others cannot even fathom doing anything remotely celebratory. I see you.
While I'm so thankful for the provision that we have to buy whatever we want to eat for this Thanksgiving, I know people who have been hit by hard times and can barely make ends meet. They are reluctant to ask for or accept financial assistance, so they suffer in silence. I get it - I suffered silently from food insecurity while trying to pay my way through Engineering school. No one knew that I was barely eating. I see you.
Although I'm celebrating my transition into the next chapter of my career [details to be announced soon], I'm also mourning leaving the relationships I've built and the work that I've nurtured these past 3+ years. My last few weeks at work have been filled with lots of love from my People Operations team and colleagues telling me how I've had such a positive impact on the organization and on them personally. This outpouring of appreciation has helped somewhat balance the sadness of leaving an HR team that I truly love and the burden I've felt for setting them up for success. I miss you.
This has been a really difficult season for me. This has also been a year in which I have experienced amazing growth - I would even go as far as to call it a transformation! With the support of my personal board of directors, I walked out my own "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" exploration this year which led me to moving from California to Washington, D.C. and gave me the clarity I needed to make this most recent career change. These moments of transition often serve as the fodder for transformation. I'm reminded of a line from my "The In-between" blogpost that "this state of suspension between the old & the new is the only place where real change takes place." Ain't that the truth??!!
I acknowledge the mourning that accompanies the growing pains of this difficult season while
giving thanks unto God that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). I realize that no matter what we go through, nothing is wasted! He makes all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
So whether you are celebrating the Thanksgiving Day holiday or recognizing the National Day of Mourning, I wish you blessings, peace and wholeness.
Regina
P.S. - Let me know if you want a copy of my "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" exercise.
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